Johnny Cash Cover Band Plays Local Bar (aka Why I Suck, Am Single, and Most People Are Annoyed By Me)

Tonight (like most nights) I strolled into my local dive, The Nest on Alberta. On this particular warm Friday night (unlike most nights) there was a band playing. Actually, there was a band not playing at the moment I walked in, they were on a break. But the evidence was abundant that indeed there was to be live entertainment at The Nest tonight. Specifically, a handwritten sign posted at the front door which read "$2 donation for band". I did not obey this sign. My first thought was "I'm a musician: I'm poor" followed by "Oh I guess they are too, how can I expect to earn a buck playing music if I won't pay to see it?" I decided that if I thought the band was good I would pay a couple bucks.

I promptly obtained a Pabst from the barkeep and made my way to the patio, where I typically run into people I barely know and talk about The Blazers or Music or something less important. At some point I noticed the band had resumed. I could hear the muffled sounds of train beat coming from inside. Once I had nursed my Ribbon dry I headed back in for another, and to check out the band. As I reentered I could barely make my way across the room. Suddenly the overfilled bike rack made sense (I actually had to wait for a parking space FOR MY BIKE when I arrived.) It was a Johnny Cash cover band playing "Folsom Prison Blues"

Of course that's the song they would be playing precisely the minute I walked in. And the place was packed with happy drunk girls, ranging from a soft-7 on down, dancing and singing along. Now here's the part that makes me suck: This drove me crazy. My first thought was I wonder how many of these people liked Johnny Cash before it was Cool To Like Johnny Cash (that is, before "Hurt" came out). I concluded none of them. Young people like Johnny Cash for the same reasons that people with no ties to Boston wear Red Sox hats.

I'm not a Johnny Cash fan. That's not to say that I don't like or respect his work, but I own none of his CDs and I never paid much attention to him. People I respect very much musically have named him as a key influence. I even recorded one of his songs for a tribute compilation that never came out. I recognize his greatness and his impact on the music world. But by virtue of the fact that I am not a fan I am totally unqualified to write the following paragraph.

Johnny would probably not be super stoked that a bunch of unintelligent bimbos were singing along to a handful of his more radio-friendly tunes while their Abercrombie and Affliction clad beaus were ordering another round of tequila shots and plotting the next epic Dave show at The Gorge. Or maybe he'd be thrilled by it, who knows. But my gut tells me no genius wants to see his life's work marginalized and distilled down to a handful of "Greatest Hits," played primarily for the purpose of hastening along the procreation of dumb people and thus the demise of our society (see Idiocracy- opening sequence). And the thing which I'm certain would drive Johnny crazy is that these are the very same people who didn't give a shit about him a few years ago. This is the sort of folk who, were Johnny a young up-and-comer today, would not invest even five seconds to ponder his music.

Yesterday I texted a girl, who I guess is a friend but probably won't be for much longer, that I had a few copies of the new Scotland Barr record. The only reason I did this is because I think she is a fan as she came to a lot of shows back in the day and has the other two albums. Plus I'm certain she would love it. Her response was, "I'll pass, but thank you anyway!" (I love the random use of exclamation points, by the way.) I was surprised by this, and fired back, "Wow really? You'd love it, it's a masterpiece. I thought you'd be excited..." Her devastating / enraging response was, "I don't purchase that much music anymore... Really trying to watch my spending, so unless it's close to free... Yah. Sucks being poor" This coming from a person who a) has a job with a Fortune 500 company, b) drives a new car, and c) probably spends between $15 and $50 every day on Starbucks / lunch / happy hour / $2 donations to Johnny Cash cover bands at dive bars.

And this is why our society sucks, or why our society is fine and I am the one who sucks. People say they are poor when clearly they aren't, and will piss through money on all sorts of things that will be consumed and forgotten in a matter of minutes. Yett somehow paying for a CD which cost thousands, if not tens of thousands of dollars to produce is considered a frivolous luxury. Do we really want to live in a world of classic rock stations and repackaged greatest hits albums and crappy cover bands? Are we, as a society, done embracing new art?

So here I am. Up on my high horse, blogging and judging. Who am I? Just a drummer who can (kinda) sing and (attempts to) write songs. If I had approximately 30% fewer braincells and 100% more Tap Out shirts I could be bedding one of those gold digging fairweather Cash fans right now. But instead I'm laying on my couch alone, watching The Larry Sanders Show on Netflix. And publishing blogs which will make a handful of people chuckle and many more people (if they ever read it) say "Nick sucks, no wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend."